Sunday, March 30, 2008

One For The Hope Chest

page of sew your own fabric book
I wish this picture wasn't so blurry. Grr! I found this fabric panel that makes up into a Lord's Prayer book and fell in love with the illustrations. I bought enough fabric to make up two books and I may go back for more.

I can't remember if I have shared this story here before, but I do not work with any white children. Before we joined my awesome church (which is really diverse), I could go weeks without seeing a live white child. Instead, my life is filled with my beautiful golden, mocha, mahogany, brown and black "Crayons." It's funny how you get used to what you see around you.

I have gotten so used to my students that white kids look so...pale. In fact, when I went to see a friend's newborn baby, I came home and told Cliff that I was concerned. "The baby was very pale." To which he responded, "Well yeah, it is a white baby!" That's when I realized that when I think, "baby" I no longer automatically see a white baby in my mind. Thinking aloud I said, "Oh that's right. We would have a white baby!" Cliff quickly replied, "Look if it's not white, I'm the one who is going to be surprised!"

Pale as our child would be, I do want my own biological child. Frankly, I want to delight in a mini Cliff. He is such a cartoon that I can not even imagine how much laughter a little version would bring! And, I am sure a mini me would keep him on his toes! Which would also make me laugh!

That said, I am warming to the idea that this might not be our path. Maybe that beautiful girl with her gingham table cloth and red dotted curtains looks more like my future daughter than I know? If the sandwich had been a grilled cheese I would have considered it a real sign from God! Still, no matter how the cards fall, one copy of this book will go into my "hope chest."


Lucy said...

I think you would make the most incredible Mother--I hope that you are blessed with a child, biological or otherwise soon.


Sarah and Jack said...

It is always hard to adjust to a different idea of a family, but once you get there, the result is the same. I figured we would have more than one kid, 3 maybe 4? And it's been killer hard to adjust that vision, but we are getting there. A work in progress, if you will.

You are going to be great at mothering, no matter how you get there.

Handi Dandi Mandi said...

I know you would be a great mother and perhaps you will be blessed with biological AND otherwise. No matter what, they will be mini you's because they will be raised with your beliefs and quirks and personalities. I wish you luck with your family and hope chest.

misskp said...

Hi, Jane!

I am your Paris in Spring swap partner and have really been enjoying learning about you through your blogs. What a wonderful job you have...challenging and rewarding! I love the titles of your blogs, too. Looking forward to "talking" to you soon about the swap!


Rebecca said...

Oh Jane, what a sweet sentiment. :) And it should definatley go into that hope chest! I have some sweet stuffies in my own hope chest.

My husband, as I think you know, is 100% Colombian and though he is very fair we often wonder if our children would be pale or have some color. His mother was much darker than he is so you never know!! :) We'll have to see which way our fate goes as well and I wish all four of us the best of luck in this!!

Vader's Mom said...

Such a sweet post! I love that fabric too.